Are We Having Fun Yet?
Posted on March 20, 2002 at 05:27:05 PM
He sat in his hotel room, the same damn room he'd been in for the last five days.
Go out? No way, he didn't know anyone, and he didn't want to. Pontiac was just a stupid little city in an even dumber state. He was there for one reason, and one reason only
So, have you been giving this WWF thing any more thought?
That WASN'T it
Or are you gonna keep pouting and giving us the WWF can eat a dick line?
Keep pouting? Me? Surely, you're kidding. I'm not pouting, Tommy. I apparently wasn't good enough for them before, and now that I AM, I've realized that THEY aren't good enough for ME
So it's NOT because you'd have to fight Chris Benoit on a full time basis?
Yeah, cause that would be SUCH a HUGE change as opposed to here, right?
I was just checking, man. That was a rumor going around
Levi smirked that arrogant as HELL grin of his, drinking back his Pepsi. Dawk, however, didn't see the humor
I'd hardly call it a rumor, jerk. I do have a TV, you know. I see what's going on. I see Benoit trying to make himself something that he's not, while denying what he IS... he's just another body. NO one is buying Attitude for Chris Benoit. They're buying it because of Taylor Dawkins, and they're buying it because of Damian Storm. They wanna see that coward priss farce of a champion FINALLY get his... or they wanna see that jerkoff dickhead FINALLY get HIS. Either way, Chris Benoit doesn't figure into the equation, try as he may
Well, sad to say, but I disagree with you. In fact, I found myself nodding in agreement to Benoit the other day. He's right, you know. He DOES hold the key to the victor. You and Damian are so worked up about killing each other, that Benoit won't even have to try. Lucky for you, he said he's going to help you
Dawk, midway through a swig of some Lipton Brisk, eyed Levi... not so much in a
"Hey, this is good Brisk, you should have some" sorta way, but rather, in a
"You're frickin kidding me, right?" way
You're frickin kidding me, right?
See, I told you. It's all about the...
Power of the Narrator (TM)!!!
What do you mean?
First off, I don't need any frickin HELP from ANYONE to beat Damian Storm. Secondly, if I DID rely on Chris Benoit's help, I'd probably just win by countout or something, like when he helped Storm against me, which would thus render everything pointless anyways. Thirdly, do you think I give two drops of piss about what Chris Benoit has planned? If he wants to help, fine. If he doesn't, hey, that's JIM FRIGGIN FRAGGIN DANDY, OKAY?!? Saturday night is about destiny, and I've finally realized, no matter how much I try to fight it, my destiny is to have a frickin belt o'gold around my waist. There's just no other way around it. But Benoit better realize, I don't like him. We're not all buddy buddy just cause he dropped Storm, you know? He's got a nice little romping his way, rest assured
There was a knock at the door. Dawk, leaning back, stretched his arm out, a good thirty five feet away from the door
Can't reach. Sorry dude
You lazy sack of crap
Levi got up, heading toward the door. Once opened, his jaw dropped. For there he stood, a face from the past
Nice to see you, too, you frickin slutass
For legal reasons, I can't give you his real name, though Levi and Dawk will probably use it. For narration purposes, will call him
NOT Kid Punk.
NOT Kid Punk walked in, scoping out the suite
Holy sweet Jesus, man. This suite is SWEET!
Wow, that was clever, man. That must've taken you all day to think of
Hey, I do my best
NOT Kid Punk helped himself to a bottle of Brisk, as Dawk and Levi just eyed him
Uh... what? You guys sure know how to make a dude feel welcome, you know that?
Well, we weren't exactly expecting you, jerkoff. What the hell brings you by?
I don't know if I'm more hurt, offended, or betrayed by that comment. I'm near tears, I swear to God. You think I was gonna watch my fellow NorCal Brew beat the piss out of that Vagina that Walks Like a Man... ON TV?!? Oh HELL no! Slut, I got myself a ticket to the Silverdome
Haha... very nice, man. That's definitely adequate
True that shizzlicky. Its got TONS of ADEQUOSSITY!
And let the butchering of the English language commence...
The three all stopped, eyed one another cautiously, then laughed it up. Somewhere, someone could be heard pleading for the Sarcastic Narrator to resume his duties...
Then he was shot in the back of the head, thank God
So, what's the plan for Saturday? You gonna hit Stormynuts with an in-adamant object?
Good god. Tell me that YOU didn't just make fun of someone for how they spoke. Words cannot even do justice how ridiculous that is
NOT Kid Punk looked at Levi, quickly flipping him the bird
Take it easy, gentlemen. Well Punk Daddy, I don't know if I'm going to use any inanimate objects, but really, do I have to? I'm Taylor F'N Dawkins, you know? I'm the absolute best that ANY federation ANYwhere on the planet has to offer, and EVERYone knows it. I mean, think about it. One of my opponents is talking about giving me a little hand this Saturday, while the other one is too preoccupied deciding if he's crazy or not, and then when he's not, he rips on my BEVERAGE OF CHOICE! I mean, good LORD, talk about tapping a dry keg. It's like, okay dude, we get it, Damian! You don't like Lipton Brisk! I just fail to see how Lipton Brisk being such a crappy drink guarantees him beating me Saturday night, you know?
Don't worry Dawk, you're not alone
Yeah, true that. But really, he CAN'T talk about anything else. You're technically superior to him, and he's kidding himself if he thinks otherwise. Biff Scroggins did a GREAT job training you
Oh crap, BIFF! I gotta give that guy a call... I have a ticket reserved for him at the Silverdome, too
Oh, I see how it is. Reserve one for your trainer, but not your best bud?
Uhh, I thought that when you said I'll NEVER have ANYTHING to do with Boyce's stupid ass company AGAIN a couple months back, that you, you know, MEANT IT! But enough about your petty grievances, home boy. Saturday night, Pontiac Silverdome... I can just feel it... calling in the air. It's going to be the match of my career, and I WILL walk away with the title. Because if I don't... well, I won't make any kind of idle threat. But I don't have to. There isn't a person on this earth that can stop me from dethroning Damian Storm, and as always, that's the truth. Not Sir Psycho Sexy, not Chris Benoit, not Tazz... not even Boyce of Frickin Reason!
I don't know, Dawk. I think we know the story here... he's cost you championship matches before... you don't think he's gonna try to stop you again?
That's not the point, Tommy. It isn't that Boyce won't try, it's that he WON'T stop Dawk
Bingo. Saturday night, another damn page to the Book of Dawkins will be written... and will someone tell Sir Psycho Sexy NOT to worry... I won't let him down
Dawk stood, heading to the door. It was time to eat, and with Levi and NOT Kid Punk following, there was no point in a lonely cameraman hanging out by himself.
So he left, too
STAIND SUCKS!!!
VIVA NORCAL!!
