The Legend Of Tommy Levi
"Life Ain't all that Bad, Even if Henry Rollins is your Dad." -Dawkins
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| | The Legend Of Tommy Levi
"Life Ain't all that Bad, Even if Henry Rollins is your Dad." -Dawkins
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Life Ain't All That Bad, Even if Henry Rollins is Your Dad 7/12/2001 Aww yeah, Highway 101, the lovechild of California. Dawk and his childhood friend Jake sat there, some choice Millencolin blasting across the speakers, returning to San Francisco from Novato, some twenty five minutes north of the City by the Bay. Dawk turned the music down, drawing the ire of his compadre What the hell are you doing, man? Settle down, Jake. God, you're such a pissant sometimes. Listen to this... Okay... So the other day, I was hanging out in my house, and that shithead Levi... he shows up, straight up tries to walk in my house, though the chain lock blocked him off Jesus man, are you kidding me? Not at all. He's sitting there begging for me to give him back his mother... even reaches through the door. So I frickin slam the thing on his arm, and tell him to get the hell off my property, or I'ma scatter the ashes on my frickin lawn Atta boy. What a dickhead Yeah, you're telling me. Some people just don't have any honor anymore. I mean, honestly now, trying to break into a man's house? That's disgusting. He's lucky I didn't scatter his mom's ashes simply for THAT. He should be ashamed Absolutely. Man, I remember when Levi was cool. Too bad he turned into a total assface Dawk gave Jake a puzzled look, presumably due to his never hearing the word Assface used before Umm, yeah. Anyways, he finally leaves, and when I opened up my door, there's this note on my doorstep, that just says, Read, you fuckin asshole. Such language, you know? Yeah, it's heartwrenching So yeah, I pick the bad boy up, open it, and read. And it's Levi's chickenscratch alright, scrawled all OVER a perfectly good piece of paper. Hey, FUCK YOU, DICKHEAD! Dawk's outburst came as a shock, until we saw the reason... saw punkass kid trying to cut him off. Dawk, the ever badass driver, floored it, blocking the attempt, pissing the kid off. Tough sh|t, pissant Back to what I was saying... I start to read, and like I said, it's Levi, and he's promising me all sorts of physical harm, promising to stalk me, to torment me, to make me bleed without ever cutting me, all before we ever set foot in the ring, right? Oooh, so scary Definitely. Then, to show how serious he is, he says something like... I will give you one last chance to return my mother's ashes. If you refuse to do it, I will do as you did to me. I'll enter your house, and I will take what's most precious to you The two shared a hearty laugh, one filled with an arrogance so stuffy, even the most anorexic woman would have trouble moving Yeah, I know what you're thinking. So I call him up, and get his machine, to which I say, and I quote, Hey, Tommy, I got your note, and after much soul searching, I realize that you can EAT A DICK! Come in MY house and take something precious to me?!? Like WHAT? My frickin cooler of Lipton Brisk? It's YOURS! And then I hung up. Funny ass stuff man, funny ass stuff They pulled into the driveway, both eyeing the door, which was slightly opened. Dawk shook his head And it looks like he actually took my frickin cooler of Brisk. What a slutass... Honestly... Oh no! What with your contract to them and all, how will you EVER get anymore Brisk?!? The two headed up towards the opened entrance, and took a few steps in. Dawk was smiling, but Jake, having looked to the left, was not. He tapped Dawk on the shoulder, who slowly turned. His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. His vulgar screams were the only sounds in his house, as the camera slowly faded. | | |
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